Currently Playing Drops of Jupiter By Train Drops of Jupiter see related

I dont really know what to think about things going on with me these days...I feel like I am drifting away from what im used to. Since I got a job, nothing really feels the same. Everything is just a daze...blurry images passing me by. I havent hung out with my of my friends in a week, and I havent spent more than 1/2 an hour online in just as long. I feel like im growing apart from my friends and family...and this is after less than a week. It makes me stop and think whats going to happen in a month? Am I going to have a life at all? Heh...I kinda doubt it. Oh well, as my mom says...welcome to the machine, im kinda starting to understand what she meant by it. Im not complaining about my job or anything, its not really that bad, its tiring, but the people are great, and my managers are awesome, its not everyday that you get something like that. I can sit there during work and listen to any kind of music i want, its really not that bad, i just dont like not hanging out with my friends. Oh well, maybe one of these days i will have a life again, lol. Well, have fun and good night everyone!

Currently Watching Jesus Christ Superstar By Ted Neeley, Carl Anderson (II), Yvonne Elliman see related

Well, it has been a shitty day, followed by a shitty night, and im sure tomorrow, i will have a shitty morning. I hate easter, and everyone is getting ready for it tonight. Big turkey dinner and lots of people over and everything. Im not into the whole family gatherings thing...im barely part of this family. The last time i even lived with my mom bro n sister was like...10 years ago. I have lived here for 3 years and still dont feel like part of this damn family. My own stepbrother never even talks to me...but thats a whole different story. *sigh* At least online, i can get my feelings and thoughts out without worrying about stressing anyone else out, and as far as I know, no one really reads this, so i dont have to worry about the whole "are you ok?...are you sure?...if you need to talk.." thing. I hate that, i know everyone just wants to be there for me, but i dont like people prying into my business. If i say i dont want to talk about something, that pretty much means i dont want to talk about it. If i say just let it be, then just let it be. If anyone is actually reading this and has noticed a change in me latley, its because i've been dealing with a lotta shit from my past. A lot of really hard memories are being triggered, and im not too good at dealing with that. Anyone that knows about everything that went down before i moved in with my mom, and if anyone knows about my dad and things that happened with my stepmom, bless her soul, then you dont have to ask whats on my mind, because its nothing new. Its still something i have to deal with on my own, and im sorry if i seem to take it out on you. I try to keep my problems to myself, but once in a while, everyone needs an outlet, and this is gonna be mine. Almost a diary...online, but there are some things i dont want you to know, and some things i would NEVER put on the internet. Oh well, thats a look into my mind for the day...have fun and goodnight.

Im on spring break now, yippie skippy, im pretty happy i guess. I kinda got a job...i think, but im not really sure, i assume so..."welcome to taco bell, what can i get for you?"... yeah, im looking forward to that for god only knows how long, but at least i get paid for it.

  I was always told that the reason we have breaks is to chill out and relieve some stress for a bit...but this break has been more stressfull in the last 2 days...since i got out of choir at 3 friday, then all of my past winter/spring breaks combined. *sighs and takes deep breaths* oh well, count to ten and jump right back into the fray right?

  Hmm...happy thoughts...i had fun at my friend angel's these last 2 days...and all the stress is ppl calling me and interrupting all of my new experiences. By the way, sorry for the random thoughs and run on "..." sentences, but oh well, its kinda the way my thoughts come and go. Oh well, im gonna go now, might write later...bye.

   Mmm...back to school, gotta love it. I think i had a bit too much fun this weekend, 'cause I would really rather do about anything but go to school tomorrow. I feel sooo lazy because I haven't really accomplished anything in the last few days. Its just been one of those breaks after a long week of testing, ya know...the kind that makes you want to beat your head on the desk afterwards...well, it kinda made me not motivated enough to do ANYTHING. On top of it all, its a full week this week, followed by a week n 1/2 of spring break, kinda sucks b/c the week is going to go by way too slow.

   Enough of my bitching... have a nice day whoever happens to be reading this...your such a dork! hAaHaHahAhA!